Whether you’re in the first blush of a romantic relationship, or perhaps you’ve been together for a long time, expressing your affection and thoughts can be a difficult thing. Writing a love letter is an out-pouring of your emotions, thoughts, and desires to the person who means the most to you.

This blog post has undergone a transformation since my initial post many moons ago. It was originally an activity you could do on a rainy day. However, you can write a love letter at any time!

It doesn’t matter if it’s Valentine’s Day or your loved one’s birthday. It could be just because you’re thinking of them. Don’t hesitate to get your thoughts down on paper. I’m here to help with a few tips on how to do this!


Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links to Grammarly. I’m an affiliate with Grammarly. If you use the links to Grammarly below to sign up, I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.


1 // Get Inspiration From Others On How To Write A Love Letter

So you want to learn how to write a love letter.

Where to start writing a love letter? It’s a forgotten art – the love letter. We send love emails, texts, Facebook posts, and tweets. 

However, a beautifully handwritten love letter can be saved, re-read at a later time. It can be lost and many years later found by somebody else.

Digital declarations of love are not so easy to find if lost on a hard drive or in the ether that is the Internet.

Get Inspiration From Great Lovers From The Past

We’re lucky that so many famous people in the past expressed their love and passion via the written word.

We wouldn’t be graced with words such as these:

The demonstrations of your affection are such, and the beautiful words of your letter are so cordially phrased, that they really oblige me to honour, love, and serve you for ever….

For my part, I will out-do you, if this be possible, rather than reciprocate, in loyalty of heart and my desire to please you.

Beseeching you also that if I have in any way offended you, you will give me the same absolution for which you ask, assuring you that henceforth my heart will be dedicated to you alone, and wishing greatly that my body was so too.

– Henry VIII to Anne Boleyn

“I will cover you with love when next I see you, with caresses, with ecstasy.”


– Gustave Flaubert, French writer to his wife Louise Colet

I wake filled with thoughts of you. Your portrait and the intoxicating evening which we spent yesterday have left my senses in turmoil. Sweet, incomparable Josephine, what a strange effect you have on my heart!”

– Napoleon Bonaparte to his wife Josephine

These are just three that are quite lovely and passionate.

There are many examples of love letters that you can find online. Take the time to read them. See what people wrote and how they expressed themselves.

But the key takeaway is this: always use your own words and your own voice. Quotes from others are fine, but make sure you note them as such.

The other place you can look is in films. While many are based on actual books, some films such as one of my favourite period movies includes a love letter writing scene. Who can forget the words of William Thatcher to Joscelyn in A Knights Tale?:

“I have seen the new moon, but not you. I have seen sunsets and sunrises, but nothing of your beautiful face. The pieces of my broken heart are so small that they can be passed through the eye of a needle. I miss you like the sun misses the flower; like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter.”

Romantically eloquent it isn’t, but it is still a declaration of love that is presented in written form. It’s delivered to Joscelyn who happily ignores its overblown verbiage and phrasing. 

So the lesson learned!  Even if you aren’t the world’s best love letter writer, your intentions are truly what matters. This is how to write a love letter from the heart.

| Related: Experiential Gift Ideas For Valentine’s Day


2 // Set The Perfect Mood For Writing A Love Letter

How to write a love letter - tips with examples from history

A noisy, full subway train is probably not the best place to write your love letter. Think of all the distractions and people looking over your shoulder.

Nor is writing a love letter at work an acceptable activity.

One of the best things to do is to set aside some quiet alone time, with soft mood music for a romantic atmosphere. Perhaps it’s your favourite love songs. Or classical music. Whatever it is, set the mood for yourself!


How to write a love letter

3 // Use The Right Materials For Your Love Letter

Sure, a quickly written down love letter on a napkin can show passion, but it’s easily shredded and doesn’t show much effort was taken into writing down your thoughts.

Prepare a few things before you start writing:

  • A few sheets of rough scrap paper to write your first draft
  • A pencil with a good eraser so that you can edit easily
  • If you prefer to use a computer, have the free Grammarly app installed to ensure you have no spelling or grammar mistakes
  • A fine pen for the final version
  • Elegant paper for the actual love letter
  • An envelope: some people like to make it look vintage with a wax stamp

Expect that you will make mistakes writing the final letter. Since we’re so used to typing things out these days, we’re out of practice when it comes to handwriting. I don’t know about you, but my hands and fingers get tired much quicker now than they did when I was in my 20s writing copious notes during hour-long lectures in university. I wouldn’t be able to write clearly and without mistakes for more than five minutes now.

Grammarly Writing Support

So have backup sheets of elegant paper just in case.

You may also want to create fine, light lines with a pencil on your paper to ensure that your writing is straight and nicely spaced out. The more spaced out height-wise, the fewer words on a paper, meaning if you screw one up, you’re not re-writing as many.

How to write a lover letter - tips

4 // Write Using Your Own Voice

When you’re learning how to write a love letter, you may be tempted to borrow from others.

Don’t! Use your own voice.

A good way to do this is to use the stream-of-consciousness writing method. Think about your loved one and just write. Write all your thoughts without worrying about the start of the letter or how to finish it.

Think about funny moments together. Or romantic moments and gestures you’ve shared and experienced. Perhaps your love said something that really meant so much to you. Let them know about it!

And most importantly use the word LOVE. Be clear about your emotions.


5 // Edit And Read Your Letter Before You Write The Final Version

Have you put all your thoughts down on paper?

Writing a love letter isn’t a stream of consciousness exercise. You need to edit.

Read it over again, out loud to ensure you’ve written everything you want to express. See if what you’re writing makes sense.

Does it have an opening? A body and end to it? Does the ending convey a future together? After all, nobody wants to read a letter without a happy ending. That’s another letter altogether!

If you’re writing your letter on a computer, use the free Grammarly plugin to check for grammar and spelling mistakes.

And finally, when you’ve written out the final letter, consider including


If You’re Single… You Can Still Write A Letter Of Love To Yourself!

What if you don’t have a significant other? Easy – tell yourself how much you love YOU.  We so rarely do that these days with all the “I could lose a few pounds”, “I don’t like how my nose looks like”, and the “I wish I had bigger/smaller boobs”.

In the end, read the love letter to yourself and put it away in a safe place where you keep mementos. It may be a beautiful surprise for you when you find it many years later in life.

Whether for your significant other or for yourself, writing a love letter is a gift that involves time and deep thought. What better way to spend a dreary, cloudy day than thinking warm thoughts?

To summarize:

  • Get inspiration from past writers of fantastic love letters
  • Set the perfect mood for expressing your romantic thoughts on paper
  • Prep what you need to begin writing
  • Use your own voice and express your love using the word love
  • Edit your letter before you write the final version

Happy writing!

| Related: 75 Fun & Productive Things To Do During A Snowstorm


QUESTION: Did you ever write a love letter? Did your loved one love it? What are your tips for writing a love letter?

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How to write a love letter

NOTE: This post originally appeared in 2012. It’s been updated with new information.

Author

Margaret Bourne is a blog coach and strategist, with over 18 years of experience in marketing and public relations. She helps aspiring bloggers build and grow professional online businesses. A wife, and mom to a little boy, she also occasionally shares lifestyle-related stories through her Suburban Tourist blog.

3 Comments

  1. your photo is STUNNING!!! i love writing letters but unfortunately w/ my disability it’s hard :( But great reminder of the timelessness of letter writing.

    Joy at The Joyous Living

    #clickedthrough

    • I wish I could take credit for most of the beautiful photos here, but there’s only the small one that’s mine. The joys of using great Stock photos! I can understand the difficulty in handwriting with a disability. I wish more people did actually write things out!

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