Our son turned three this past winter. He’s now well into his preschooler life and is living up to the “Terrifying Threes” label. Life with a three-year-old is certainly different than it was when he was just turning two.
Our family physician warned me at my son’s 3-year check-up that it would be Terrible Twos, Terrifying Threes and *#&$ing Fours”. We’re right in the middle of that fun ride!
Although there are some typical tough moments, my son is also becoming a delight to be around. While there are many posts on how to deal with a 3-year-old, I’ve decided to share some general thoughts. Things that other parents can identify with so that you know you’re not alone with these crazy antics!
And in case you’re wondering, the feature photo is my independent son, walking ahead of us on a hiking trail. Now onto the 10 scary truths of the Terrifying Threes…
1 // Three Year Olds Are Copycats
This is one of the funniest things about life with a three-year-old. They can amuse you with what they say. Their powers of observation and mimicry are surprising. There will be a moment in your three-year-old’s life that you’ll find them repeating everything you say. Just because they can. And it’s usually when you’re trying to reprimand them over something.
However, this is also a great thing if they are still struggling with clear speech. Take advantage of the copycat stage to practice tough words.
Also, this is a great time to clean up your potty mouth. Since they repeat everything you say, it’s best to keep it kid-friendly. It brings to mind this clip with Robin Williams, talking about his three-year-old son.
Warning: the video is NSFW.
2 // Preschoolers Are Super Independent
They want to do everything themselves… with a few exceptions. Calling the shots on when and what they eat. Walking ahead of you on a muddy trail and not wanting to hold your hand. Deciding that they will have gummy bears instead of the healthier crackers and cheese you’re offering. It’s definitely not bedtime at bedtime!
And while thing independence can result in a battle of the wills, it’s also a great thing.
They’ll beat to the rhythm of their own drum.
Consider this: playing alone for a while without you hovering over them. Wanting to put their own clothes on. Anytime a 3-year-old wants to do things on their own, it gives you less hands-on, focused time as a parent. On the flip side, if they’re not potty trained yet and resistant to learning, you’ve got an uphill battle. Join the club.
3 // Temper Tantrums Are Amplified
You thought they were bad when they’re two-year-olds? The big difference is the size of your child. If they’re like my son and on the taller side (he’s as tall as an average four-year-old, at 40 inches), they are very hard to control if they’re flailing around and potentially hurting themselves or somebody else. It’s like wrestling an alligator.
And if you think you can reason when with them in the middle of a tantrum? Not true. They still haven’t learned how to deal with their anger and temper. We try to talk about how to deal with angry moments when our son isn’t screaming at the top of our lungs. It’s slowly starting to make sense to him.
| Related: 5 Tips For Hiking With Little Kids
4 // They’re Loud & Demanding
Another challenging thing about life with a three-year-old is the lack of understanding as to indoor volumes. They are LOUD. And, it’s usually at the worst times, like in public.
Because they want to be heard and their demands to be acknowledged, they can be loud. Especially at home where they feel the most comfortable in letting down the polite facade they thankfully put up in public. Luckily, we’ve got our son trained pretty well to behave in public most of the time. But at home, he will bellow out his demands for his favourite treat. A lollipop before dinner is a totally acceptable thing in his mind, and he will let us know it.
There was one time he was very hungry and he couldn’t wait for dinner to start. He got into his mind that an apple would satisfy his hunger. Who am I to turn down his desire for a healthy snack? He was getting agitated, and when I gave him a bit of apple, he smiled and said, “Mommy, you’re the best apple giver.”
We’re working on the concept of asking politely for something, and the art of patience. The latter part is the more difficult thing to learn. They don’t understand the concept of waiting. And it’s partially the fault of parents because we’re always in a rush!
5 // They Thrive On Routine
Don’t stray from your set routines unless you want a temper tantrum. Change up one thing and you get a grumpy kid who doesn’t know what’s going on. We’ve got a morning routine, lunch routine, and dinner routine set. Bedtime routines are also so important to keep on track if you want your child to fall asleep at a regular time. Throw in a mid-afternoon nap, and the bedtime routine is off track. Your preschooler will not fall asleep at a regular time because they aren’t tired enough.
Our son seems to require routines that are as strict as any army drills. Now if only we adults could stick to them.
6 // They’re Manipulative
Three-year-olds learn very quickly what to say and what to do to melt your heart. Our son keeps saying, “I’m a good boy…” (insert cute smile) “I will get insert snack/toy/present du jour here“. And how can you resist their cute smiles, cuddles, and kisses?
He also tries to negotiate with us, although this is not one of his strongest abilities just yet. Fun times!
7 // They Are Chatty
And this is a very good thing. Our son tells us stories about his toys. He shares what he’s learned from a cartoon. Or from a visit with his grandparents.
Although he’s not at the “why?” stage, we know this will come soon enough. And we don’t want to stop him from talking with us. The more you encourage kids at this age to have conversations with you, the better.
I remember reading one time, to take a moment to stop and listen, ask questions and foster conversations with your child. They will feel that you are keenly interested in what they have to say. And it’s also the perfect time to talk about things that they need to improve upon. This is because they are receptive to a conversation. Just keep it short. They do get bored of any given topic if you drone on.
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8 // They Love You To Death
This is one of the best things about life with a three-year-old. However, it comes with some dangers.
Imagine a strong, 40 lb, 3’3″ tall kid barreling towards you at full speed to launch themselves right into you as you sit on a sofa. And this happens several times a day because they want to shower you with big hugs and kisses. That’s my son. He’s a big boy for a three-year-old – the average size of a four-year-old.
It can be exhausting, trying to wrestle them off of you. This is why I keep working out my arms so that I have enough upper body strength to deal with the onslaught of affection.
And they pick up habits that might be rough. For example, our son has figured out that using his chin when snuggling creates a reaction from us. Albeit a negative reaction as getting a nuggie on the side of your face or your jawline is just as painful as one on the top of your head. And he does this over and over. But he does this at the same time as he’s saying “BIG HUG” or “I love you mommy”. So your heart melts, even though you’re crying in pain inside.
9 // They’re Picky Eaters And Regress
Something that seems to be common with many three-year-old kids is that they’re picky eaters and they get lazy at the dining table. There are other things to keep them entertained and food is just food. It’s no longer as interesting as it was when they were infants or little toddlers.
Although our son does eat almost everything that he tries, he takes FOREVER to eat his food. And we have to often feed him because, after a couple of bites on his own, he’ll start doing what we call the chair dance. He turns around, kneeling on the chair with his backside to us.
We have to use incentives to get him to eat at least half of what’s on his plate (e.g. half hour of TV before getting ready for bedtime). In the end, he does finish everything off his plate, but we need the patience of Job.
10 // Three Year Old Kids Are Super Cute
If you want to laugh every day, be around a three-year-old. Because they can talk and tell some pretty interesting stories, and they’re trying to reason things out, they come up with some funny moments.
For example, my son loves animals. He’s befriended the garden ladybugs. He wanted to bring inside his new bird feeder that the neighbourhood squirrel loves. It’s OK if the squirrel comes inside as well.
Poop on the windows from literally crappy birds results in a statement that we have “Dirty birds!” outside. And again, since he’s a mimic, hearing him repeat our phrases with often difficult words is quite funny.
Not to mention, those cuddles and affection, even if you’ve just been a tough parent with them, are all worth a huge smile. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Life With A Three Year Old Changes Quickly
To my fellow suffering parents of rambunctious three-year-olds, remember that…
This too shall pass. Enjoy the moments before they’re gone.
Before you know it, it’s going to be the #*$&ing Fours. Enjoy the relative peace while it lasts!
| Related: Mistakes I Made In My First Year Of Motherhood
QUESTION: What do you find the most terrifying about life with a three year old kid? The cutest?
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4 Comments
I really enjoyed this post. I could relate with the points based on experience with my little niece
I’m sure you were saying yes, this is true to most on the list!
Thank you for this!! My daughter is 3 and it has been such a challenging year! I can relate to all 10 of these points and it is so wonderful to know we aren’t alone on this adventure!! I now know why people call them “Threenagers!”
Thank you!!!!
Hello fellow mom to a 3 year old. Glad to assure you you aren’t alone!