When it comes to advertising, it’s nice to finally see Dads being represented as capable of parenting. Finally! With Father’s Day drawing near, it got me thinking about parenting from dad’s perspective.
We hear much about it from moms, but now, we’re starting to see dads more and more talk about being good parents and on other topics related to parenting.
Parenting From Dad’s Perspective
With a change in advertising, this is now a golden time for Canadian Dad bloggers. Long have Mom bloggers ruled the interests of marketers in this country (after all, she’s consider the CIO – Chief Influence Officer at home, holding the purse strings), Finally some marketers have clued in that dads also buy stuff for themselves, their families and their kids.
They have opinions on what it means to be a dad and how kids should be raised.
And so, I’ve reached out to three Canadian dad bloggers at various stages of parenthood to get parenting from Dad’s perspective.
Meet Casey Palmer of CaseyPalmer.com, a Toronto-based dad in his early 30s with two young boys (ages 2-1/2 and 4).
Meet Joshua Murray, a 36 year old new dad to a 7 week old baby boy named Ollie. Joshua has two blogs: The Reviews Are In (music) and the new This Daddy Life.
Finally, meet my husband, Frank, an older dad and occasional blogger (mostly outdoor stuff, but future dad stories on this blog too) at OutdoorAdventurers.ca. He’s a proud dad to our 2 year old son.
What is the best thing about being a dad?
Casey: The growing bond I have with my sons and the new things we learn each day from it. Fatherhood’s rarely easy—sometimes it’s not even ENJOYABLE—but it helps me realize everything I’ll do to teach my kids how much I love them. For someone who ALREADY loves a good challenge, fatherhood’s pretty much PERFECT.
Joshua: The love. I’ve been lucky to be surrounded by some amazing friends and family in my life, but the love that I have for my son every moment of every day is something bigger than I’ve ever felt in my life.
Frank: I love kids. When you find the right person, you want to be a family. It comes naturally. Having a baby that grows and changes, it’s a new energy that’s part of you now. It’s a lifelong adventure that never stops changing and never stops changing you.
What is the most challenging thing about being a parent?
Casey: That we don’t have crystal balls to see what’s coming next. Your foresight as a parent shrinks from decades of planning when you have a newborn to years ahead when you have a toddler.
By the time your kid’s in kindergarten, it’s hard enough to think about the evening ahead much less the next WEEK. We want to do everything for our kids, but we never know what it’s like to PARENT them until we cross that bridge.
Joshua: The “what ifs” and “what do I dos”. It’s the internal questioning of “am I doing this right” that is the biggest challenge. Diapers and dressing and getting him to eat and sleep aren’t so bad (at this age), I just don’t want to screw him up.
Frank: As an older dad, I find I miss having the time to do the things I want to do, as opposed to doing the things I have to do. Your responsibilities to your child are first. Balancing everything you have to do is sometimes impossible when you have kids.
What do you find most fascinating about your child(ren)?
Casey: Just how much they’re changing and growing over time. I still clearly remember the days I’d be surprised when they recognized a word or answered a question correctly, but now we’re having conversations about their plans for the summer and seeing them run off to go play with their friends.
Things change faster than you’ll EVER be ready for, so you need to try your best to make the most of the phase you’re in at any given point!
Joshua: Right now we’re still in an early infant stage, so everything is fascinating. I watch him smile and learn to play and make sounds that will someday turn into words and it’s all crazy to me.
I also find it fascinating that I know nothing yet about the person he’ll be. What he’ll like, what he’ll be like, it’s a mystery.
Frank: He gives me a glimpse of what it’s like to view the world as a brand new person. It reminds me of my youth and how I was in awe of everything.
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What are you missing the most from your previous, non-dad life?
Casey: I barely even REMEMBER my previous non-Dad life!
What becoming a Dad’s changed is what I wind up doing with my time. Much of what I do is with the intent of creating a better future for my family, and it doesn’t make as much room for the casual time I USED to have. At the same time, though, in my heart of hearts, I feel like I’m doing what I’m MEANT to do right now, so no regrets.
Joshua: Free-time I guess. The understanding that Ollie’s always here and is only a moment away from needing me means that I can’t necessarily dive into a thing, or be away from home as much.
Frank: Nothing. I’ve had to adjust to a new normal. Having the chaos and craziness of a toddler is my current new normal.
If you could do one special thing with your child(ren) what would it be?
Casey: I already know several of the things I want to do with my kids:
- 2022 — Take my kids to Walt Disney World when they’re 8 and 6. I never went myself as a kid, so I’d like to check it out and give them an experience they’ll never forget.
- 2027 — When they’re 13 and 11, travel across Canada by train. Check out parts of the country we’d never see otherwise. It’s a MASSIVE nation — we need to understand more about it.
- 2037 — When they’re 23 and 21, have them climb Kilimanjaro like I did a few years ago and go on animal and cultural safaris to learn more about the world around them and what’s out there. Gain further appreciation for the lives they have.
It won’t be easy, but that’s the plan!
Joshua: Indulge their passion. Whether he wants to be a baseball kid like me, or an artist like his mother – or wants to love music like both of us, I want to encourage him to love the things that make him curious and happy.
Frank: Relive things from my youth with my son. Have the time to share with him playing baseball, going hiking and going exploring in local conservation areas.
What is one thing that your dad did with you that you’ll do with your child(ren)?
Casey: One of my clearest memories as a kid with my Dad is the time he took me to a Jays game for my birthday in the 100 level of the then-SkyDome. I was probably eight at the time. I remember it feeling like my Dad was letting me in on his world—something that was special to him, as he’s always LOVED baseball. (I should TOTALLY take him to a game one day.) And that, among many other things, is what I do with my kids. Take them out. Show them that the world’s bigger than what we do in our everyday routine. We are the sum of our experiences, and giving my boys a wealth of them is one of the best things I can do for them!
Joshua: I’m looking forward to passing down the memory of my dad to my son. And while it’s hard to pick just one thing in a list of things I loved doing with my dad… I’m looking forward to the idea of camping and fishing and sitting by a fire with him like I did when I was a kid.
Frank: It would be a combination of camping together and fixing things. I’d love to share the lessons of self-reliance that I learned from my own dad.
Peppa or Paw Patrol?
Casey: This is a far more complicated question than you give it credit! It’s a battle of ideologies. Peppa Pig represents individual learning and growth, but does so in a really whiny and irritating way most times. My boys have long-forgotten her in favour of other shows, which is just as well, because I didn’t know how much longer my mind would’ve lasted trying to sort out how Mrs. Rabbit has so many jobs around town.
As for Paw Patrol, it’s all about the power of teamwork and everything that’s possible if we work TOGETHER. No one pup can do EVERYTHING. They use a combination of each other’s skills and abilities to SAVE THE DAY! We kind of gloss over the ineptitude of all the adults in Adventure Bay and their utter reliance on this little boy and his puppies, but hey—this show isn’t for US. Ultimately, we’re DEFINITELY a Paw Patrol family. (Just yelp for help!)
Joshua: (Luckily?) We haven’t reached either one of those stages yet. But from my experience with the little ones of family and friends, I’m leaning towards Paw Patrol. But more importantly, no Caillou!
Frank: I am totally team Peppa. She’s funny and cute, although sometimes irritating and will fat-shame her dad. However the situations the family and Peppa find herself in are funny, especially when you’re tired. It’s one that I enjoy watching as much as our son does.
What advice would you give dads-to-be?
Casey: Stick around. Buck the trend. None of it will make sense at FIRST, and you may very well feel USELESS as a Dad in those early days, but when it all clicks, it’ll hit you HARD, and your life will change in ways you never IMAGINED. Give yourself permission to feel, to doubt, and most importantly to mess things up; it’s a marathon, not a sprint, but as long as you do it with love, you’ll all be okay in the end.
Joshua: Follow your gut. There are things you can learn from books, but when you’re holding your baby, it’s on you. But if you’re willing, if you let yourself stay in the moment, you’ll figure it out.
Frank: Take a picture every day, because they change so fast that you won’t be able to remember how they were like. Take videos as well. Be patient and become good friends with caffeinated beverages.
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Wrapping Up Parenting From Dad’s Perspective
There you have it folks…parenting from dad’s perspective. So many great insights and advice for dads who are just learning as they go or are about to be dads. Every experience is different yet almost the same. Dads love their kids, love spending time with them and only hope that their lives turn out great.
Please share with those who feel like they are not getting this parenting thing!
For all those dads out there who are giving it their 110%… wishing you all a well-deserved Father’s Day!
Feature photo by Naassom Azevedo on Unsplash
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